F*** my life!

In my blog, there's more sad posts than happy posts...but that's how my life is, sad thing more than happy things...I always wondered, if i didn't come to England, will my life been better? at least there wouldn't have been racism that i've suffered for years, wouldn't have met friends that would betray me... life sucks, my life sucks anyway :)  
Ya, the title said f*** my life, but u know what? FUCK ALL THE RACIST PEOPLE'S LIFE, FUCK ALL THE FAKE FRIENDS' LIFE, FUCK ALL THE HEARTBREAKER'S LIFE, FUCK U ALL (IDIOTIC PEOPLE)  :) and when i put smileys, its often fake ones :) xxx
Friends always told me to be strong, stop crying, said they're always there for me, but as far as i concern, none of you's are here for me now, when im writing this...I've always said to myslef, after bad lucks good lucks will come again and again and again, but NO! No good lucks ever came to me! NO NO AND NO!!! 
I've trusted wrong people in my life, i don't believe in shit like "LOVE" anymore... Fuck love :) xx
I'm giving up....  

For the past few days on facebook, i've put posts about u, how much i love u xxxx all i want to say is "Chris, I love u" xxxxxxxxxxxx so much tht u cant imagine xx :) xxxxx <3

fireworksx

Our love is like fireworks. one moment it's so beautiful, sparkly and colourful, it feels like the world is juz us 2 being happily ever after, we're holding hands, hugging each other, looked into each other's eyes and kissed, full of love in the heart, butterflies in tummy but the next, our love disapeared, all the happiness, colour, sparks r gone... ur not next to be anymore, not holding hands anymore, no hugging, no kissing, juz tears in the eyes, knives in the blood, pain inside and the beautiful world is now full of darkness...

love?

I said to everyone, even myself tht i dont love anyone (except my family) ,cuz ive lost trust in everyone, except one person my best fren. ive been hurt too many times by boys, rejecting me. hurt too many times by frens, luving the same person tht i do, but then make lies. 
But every single day, there is this some one tht i wil think of, his image is blurry in my head, i dont know who it is, but i know he exist. ... i love him, but who's tht him? ... i wanna find out...

:@

I said before, tht if my fren/ frens love the same person as i do, i will b the one who give up first, because i dont want our frenship to tear apart. But this time, i cant do it! I cant let her going off flirting n trying to win his heart, when at the same time, she fancies 4 other people! U cant say u love him, cuz if u actually luv him, there wouldnt be space for another and another and another. If theres 2 boys, mayb its ok, but not 4 or 5 at the same time. I cant let him go off wiv u, knowing tht in ur heart, he doesnt gain 100% love, hes sharing love with 4 other people! thts not fair on him, so as long as im here, and u still have other boys in ur heart, i wont let u get him. but im not getting him either, cuz in my heart, i dont even know who it is... but still, i cant afford myself seeing him to b wiv u when u hav other boys in ur heart! n one moment , u come crying to me about this by tht upset u, the other, u go round flirting n is all fine when u r wiv other boys! u flirting pisses me off !

dont have to be good at everything! :)

We all want to b successful (well, most of us) but,we dont have to be the best. I can assure u, no one in this world is born to know how to talk, read, or walk. And U weren;t born to be perfect, no one is. Take granted of the skills u have got now, take granted of the things that are actuaally good now, for example, very high grades in a certain subject. 
Bu the thing is, u dont have to be better than Everyone! I mean, if u think u r very unsuccessful now, and stupid, if one day, u become the best for everything, what will other people feel like? just how u felt when u tthought u were the unsuccessful one, the stupid one. We were all born differently, with different skills, everyone will have their own spotlight for certain things in life. So, will it be fair if u were to take all the spotlights? What will other people be good at if u were to be on top of everyone?
Scientists, failed many times to finally, one day, maybe, their creation succeded. Their theory were proved true. But its not just in the end, they have succeded, its actually , during the process, they have learnt tht u cant be successful by just trying one or two times. If they want to prove their theories are true, they work really hard and have experienced many failures, but the point is the never gave up.

what is love?

Sometimes I go moaning, oh my god, no boys love me. but ...if 2 people were made for each other, soon or later, i believe deep inside, tht they will b together. 
Some people in this world r lucky, as they might have already found their true love, but some may not be so lucky... there are other things tht are much more important than love, but y do we care bout love so much? 
Question is, do we even know what love really is? If u hav a crush on someone, it might not mean proper love. when u love someone as a fammily, its different to love as in love for another sex. Love could mean so much, do so much... But y dont we juz wait for love, not go finding love. If tht person was made for u, then, it's for u. In the end, u will be together... <3